Woman is in love with roller coaster. Literally

You may have heard before about the woman who married the Eiffel Tower. It’s an odd fetish called Objectum-Sexual (which doesn’t sound like such a good name), and here’s another less glamorous example…a woman who wants to fuck a rollercoaster.

Any love affair has its ups and downs, but Amy Wolfe’s sex life is a rollercoaster.She enjoys a ’satisfying’ sexual relationship with a fairground ride - a ‘magic carpet’ themed ride named 1001 Nachts - and now plans to marry it.The 33-year-old rides the machine 300 times a year and uses pictures of it to satisfy herself at home.Ms Wolfe, from Pennsylvania, suffers from a condition where people develop sexual feelings towards objects.

I can kind of, in an extremely abstract way, understand falling in love with the Eiffel Tower; it’s beautiful, famous, powerful, a work of art. But a dingy Pennsylvania roller coaster isn’t even a triumph of carnival amusement. I’d be more inclined to get a hard-on on the Small World ride (and how! so many exotic 4-foot tall hotties!).

I think I’m more alarmed by the fact that she masturbates to photos of the roller coaster. Sure it’s curvaceous and seems like it was chiseled from steel. But pictures? What are you Amish? I’m pretty sure that you could make a sex tape with it and it wouldn’t object. You don’t even have to tell it that it’s being filmed, something that works less in practicality with a living person. I’m sorry ladies, but I require three camera shoots and a key grip for my sex tapes. Maybe you just need to be a little less discerning.